Here’s a Fun Nostalgia Game

“So don’t wait for someone to tell you it’s too late, cause these are the best days

There’s always something tomorrow, so I say, let’s make the best of tonight

Here comes the rest of our lives.”

–  Graham Colton, “Best Days”


Let’s say you stop me on the street (after creepily tracing my identity and locating where I live, something I hope never happens) and ask me a question. The question: “out of all the good memories you have, what is the most special day of the year to you?” If you asked me that, I would have a complicated answer. I would say something about how there are too many awesome days with awesome memories to pick from. That’s a good answer, right?

But, if you’d asked me the same question—say, six months ago—I’d have had a much simpler answer: the most special day of the year, as related to my favorite memories, is July 19th.

I’ll try to keep the explanation brief, but essentially, that was the first time my middle school friends and I all got together and hung out after graduation. I didn’t have too much of a social life in eighth grade. But, seven of us decided to see the sixth Harry Potter movie the summer before high school, and it was one of the highlights of my summer.

For a while, I considered that one of my most fun social outings. Every July 19th in years to come, when those friends and I all moved further and further into high school, the memory always stuck out. Then last year—July 19, 2012—I made a memory just as good. It was the last day of high adventure summer camp with a bunch of close friends, and I spent the last evening sleeping in a hammock in the rain (yes, I did that) and trying to enjoy the last hours of my last summer camp.

So yes. July 19th is pretty important to me, for the most random of reasons. And thus, I was in an especially nostalgic mood today when something struck me. I unknowingly played a little game, which I’ll spell out for everyone now.

Wrong kind, wrong kind!

Wrong kind, wrong kind!


A Fun and Completely Made Up Nostalgia Game

Alrighty, players, here’s how it works.


Step 1: Pick a form of media you enjoy

It can be personal photographs, music, movies, whatever. Heck, pick memories! That isn’t technically media, but it’ll work.

The version I played was with photographs, and that probably works the best. But, choose what you like.


Step 2: Pick out your top five favorites of this media

So essentially your top five favorite photographs, songs, or movies. Don’t overcomplicate this! You probably have your top five favorite photos hanging up in your room, or saved in a computer folder, or in your list of old phone backgrounds. If you don’t know what your top five favorite songs are, look at your “Top 25 played” playlist in iTunes (that’s a fun game all on its own, let me tell you). And I can safely assume you have at least three, if not five, favorite movies.

Everyone have their “five favorites” of their chosen media?


Step 3: Count how many of these five items existed a year ago

Again, don’t overcomplicate this. Look at your five favorite songs, movies, pictures or memories and see how many of them existed on July 19, 2012 (or a year ago from whenever you’re reading this).


Step 4: The Results

Here’s the part I really wanted to blog about, and I’m sorry that this game doesn’t have a spectacular and fun ending. But I hope it was interesting to you.

Allow me to give some background: I came up with this post when I was sitting in my room. I have a wall right next to my bed with eight photos hanging up, eight of my favorite ones. Two are from Prom, two are from my senior class trip to Boston, two are of my Ideal Readers and I, one is from my 18th birthday party, and one is from my Senior Week trip.

I glanced at these today, and I realized something: that while summer camp one year ago might FEEL like yesterday, it wasn’t. And no matter how clearly I remember one year ago, not a single one of these pictures had been taken back then. With my five favorite songs, four of them were released after July 2012. Favorite movies? Same thing. I was blown away by how much had happened in what felt like no time at all.

As usual with my posts, you’re probably wondering what the point of all this is. I don’t really know. It does make me feel better to know I can go one year and build all these memories but still stay the same person. I still act the same as in 2012, which is (was) one of my main worries about summer next year. I’ll have finished my freshman year of college, and I’m a little nervous how that’s going to change me.

But, who says it will? With any luck, I’ll be sitting here typing one year from now, still with the same personality and same love for the friends I made throughout high school.

Except hopefully, I’ll have another group of pictures. Not to replace the old set…just to hang right beside it.

Capstone Report II: The Kidz Bop Pandemic

“Hey, you know what would be an excellent idea? Remake a bunch of adult-themed pop songs, and clean them up for five year olds by replacing the original lyrics with senseless filler words. Then let’s get a bunch of little kids singing that in an off-key beat. That’ll be sure to sell!”

–  Someone said it


A bit of background: today, I had to stand in front of a group of college professors and present my capstone report, a research project I’ve been working on for the past year as a part of my high school study program. My chosen issue was health care in less developed countries. I was incredibly wound up, and though I think I nailed it, I still felt like de-stressing by writing a second report…one covering an issue just as, if not more, critical to our society…


 Research Report March 15, 2013: The Kidz Bop Pandemic

Intro to report: Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman. A chosen issue I believe needs more attention is a group of children, disturbingly dubbed “The Kidz Bop Kidz,” and their virulent mass of music that shows no rate of decreasing nor getting remotely better. Aside from teaching America’s children the incorrect way to spell “Kids,” this band of renegades is responsible for taking many popular—alas, sometimes good—songs, and twisting them into deadly pieces of “music” (for want of a better word) known to cause mild to severe vomiting, intense bleeding of the ears, and a general hatred for the music industry unprecedented since the first appearance of Nicki Minaj.

(It should be noted that if one begins to hear a Nicki Minaj song covered by the Kidz Bop Kidz, they should run to the nearest exit and seek shelter immediately. Make no attempt to go back and rescue your friends; if they’ve already been exposed, there is nothing to be done. There are some things that can’t be un-heard.)

In order to write a proper report on this, I spent a substantial amount of time gathering extensive research on this subject to further clarify my points and help me draw a proper conclusion. I present my findings below, with the hope that the committee will realize how serious of an issue this indeed is.

Research: For those committee members unfamiliar with the hooligans known as the “Kidz Bop Kidz,” they sing covers of popular songs with slightly changed lyrics to make the song clean for everyone to hear. I’m sorry…they “sing” covers of the songs with “slightly” changed lyrics to make the song “clean” for “everyone.”

After an hour of picking through various songs (don’t worry, my ears will heal eventually), I’ve assembled a list of some of the most troubling cases, though please note these are only a few examples of hundreds.

1.  “Call Me Maybe,” Carly Rae Jepsen

  • Original Lyric: “I beg and borrow and steal.”
  • Edit: “I beg and borrow and feel.”
  • Comment: Singing about giving out your number to strange men as soon as you meet them? Yeah, no biggie. But mentioning stealing? Not on my watch!

2.  “Telephone,” Lady GaGa

  • Original Lyric: “Out in the club and I’m sippin that bubb, you’re not going to reach my telephone.”
  • Edit: “Out in the club and I’m eatin that grub, you’re not going to reach my telephone.”
  • Comment: I too turn off my phone whenever partaking in grub.

3.  “Glad You Came,” The Wanted

  • Original Lyric: “Hand you another drink, drink it if you can.”
  • Edit: “Hand you another dance, dance it if you can.”
  • Comment: Excuse me, can you hold this dance for me while I tie my shoe? Or just put it in your pocket or something. Because dances are tangible objects. Objects that I can hand to you.

4.  “F— The Pain Away,” Peaches

  • Original Lyric: “F— the pain away, f— the pain away!”
  • Edit: “Chuck the rain away, chuck the rain away!”
  • Comment: Hey boss, I think we’ve got one the kids can cover. What’s it called? Well, I’m working on that. The refrain is filled with cussing and the ejecting of pain, but if we tidy that up and slap a new title on, we should be all good!

5.  “Starships,” Nicki Minaj

  • Original Lyric: “We’re higher than a mother——!”
  • Edit: “We’re Kidz Bop and we’re taking over!”
  • Comment: Dear Lord I hope not.

6. “Raining Blood,” Slayer

  • Original Lyric: “Now I shall reign in blood!”
  • Edit: “Now I shall love my dad!”
  • Comment: No, I’m not making this up.

7.  “Never Say Never,” The Fray

  • Original Lyric: Entire song
  • Comment: No lyrics were changed, and yet still, I literally gagged out loud when I heard the refrain of this version. This is why we can’t have nice things.

Once again, I must note that these are only several examples of a very real and consistent problem. As of this date, twenty three albums in the main series have been released, not including extra disks such as Kidz Bop Christmas, Kidz Bop Dance Party, or the album pictured below that I had to triple check was authentic.

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

And indeed, this problem shows no sign of dissipating. New edits are already being made for volume 24, which includes the song “Thrift Shop” with the new lyric—and no, I’m not making this up—“walk into the club like whaddup, I got a cool mom.”

Conclusion: In closing, I ask the committee to not ignore this issue, but to do something about the infection of good, innocent music. This continues to be a problem of our society, and if this pandemic isn’t caught and contained soon, the next generation and future children will be “bopping” into decline.

Thank you for your time and consideration!

*As a side note, I want to be clear that while the lyric edits I presented are very real, this report was meant to be a parody. I understand there are many worse issues in the world than dreadful music.

“Thrift Shop,” Valentine’s Day, and My Experience Watching “Honey Boo-Boo” (Not In That Order)

“We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.”

–  Johann von Goethe


There are certain things we (I) stumble across in the world on which I feel the need to comment. I’m not exactly sure what I want to say at the time, but I tell myself that it would be a crime to not even acknowledge its existence.

I have three of those tonight, and while each of them could be their own article, I don’t want to waste time by drawing the subjects out. So I’ve mashed them together in one post, just for my readers. I hope you enjoy.


1.  “Thrift Shop”

To be clear, I’m talking about the song released back in October, though it’s only recently gotten real attention. For those who aren’t familiar with this song, I’ll summarize it for you: in the music video, the lead singer—Macklemore—is walking through a thrift shop, rapping about all the cool stuff in it.

I’m not going to lie: when I first heard this song on the radio, I was sure it was a joke. It’s quite out there, and the lyrics…well, there aren’t any jaw-droppers, but still a few quirks amongst the highlights (which I’ve cleaned for language):

  • “Ice on the fringe, it’s so darn frosty. That people like, ‘Dang! That’s a cold honkey.’”
  • “Rollin’ in deep, headin’ to the mezzanine, Dressed in all pink, ‘cept my gator shoes, those are green. Draped in a leopard mink, girls standin’ next to me.”
  • “Pissssssssssss!”
  • “They had a broken keyboard, I bought a broken keyboard”
  • “I could take some Pro Wings, make them cool, sell those. The sneaker heads would be like ‘Aw, he got the Velcros’”
  • “Is that your grandma’s coat?”

And keep in mind, this is all rapped to a more-or-less-catchy saxophone beat.

I’m not sure whether to like this song or be totally weirded out by it. On one hand, it’s got a nice rythym and a unique music video, if a man in a fur coat dancing on used furniture can indeed be classified as “unique.”

On the other hand, when the middle of said music video features a woman this scary-looking lip synced to the male rap voice, I have the strong urge to re-evaluate my music choices.

Thrift Shop Lady


2.  My Experience Watching “Honey Boo-Boo”

In the publishing world, there are certain books referred to as being “high concept.” What this means is that as soon as you hear what the book is about, in one sentence, you automatically want to read it. I theorize that this logic is what keeps the world of television shows going, except instead of cranking out shows that people want to watch because they’re ridiculously good, we’re instead producing shows people want to watch because the shows are ridiculously awful.

Jersey Shore, for example. Yes, I know there are people out there who legitimately enjoy watching Jersey Shore, and I’m not criticizing. It’s totally fine if you want to sit there absorbing Snooki quotes such as, “That’s why I don’t eat friggin lobsters or anything like that. Because they’re alive when you kill it.”

Let’s get back on track. In my humble opinion, the queen bee of awful TV shows has to be Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo. Which is why I still can’t figure out the reason behind my decision to sit down this past Saturday and watch it for two hours.

But oh, dear reader, did I watch.

And words cannot describe how broken I am.

I’m not even going to tell you which parts were the most horrid. It was all awful. Like, seriously awful. Want an example? Two minutes into the show, I was reading a book (I made the mistake of trying to multitask) when I caught this quote from my television set:

“That there’s the weirdest thing I’ve gotten since my butthole piercing!”

My reaction:

HBB Reaction

As I said: words cannot describe it.


3.  Valentine’s Day

Well, at least you can give me credit for ending this post on a somewhat upbeat note.

Valentine’s Day has always been a fun holiday for me. Though I usually celebrate its alternate form, Singles Awareness Day (SAD for short), this year was a particularly happy exception. My girlfriend and I didn’t do anything especially fancy—stuff like carrying around a life-size stuffed red bear isn’t exactly my thing—and still it was a great day. With the exception of my computer software and printer teaming up against me last night to keep me up three hours finishing a card.

I ended up making a Harry Potter one, for the record. I found a few—my favorite being one of Bellatrix Lestrange, eyes wide, with the words “I’m CRAZY for you” above her head—but I decided to make one myself. It cost me two hours, and another to print the thing out.

And it was so worth it.

As a side note, here’s a bit of general advice to anyone for next year, if you got caught this go around:

Valentine Trap

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.

Why Nicki Minaj is a Genius Selection for American Idol Judge

“I done put the pressure to every thug I knew. Quack quack to a duck and a chicken too.”

–  Nicki Minaj, “Roman Holiday”


Don’t get me wrong: it’s fine if you like Nicki Minaj. Hey, that’s cool. There’s a lot to love about her, I’m sure, though I’ve never been curious enough to look.

When I heard she was the newest judge on American Idol, I was as shocked as…well, pretty much everyone. Her selection to the program inspired one word, and one word only, blaring at the front of my mind.


Yes, music is subjective, just as art and writing are. But when someone sings a song with a refrain such as “I beez in the trap, be-beez in the trap,” one or two red flags should be going up in the brains of Idol’s producers. Are we seriously supposed to believe that not a single executive manager of the show raised their hands and said, “Hm, maybe we should find someone else”?

This afternoon, I realized there must be a reason why. There has to be some secret behind Idol’s production team, some master plan of theirs that I’m failing to see. With a head cold and a surprising amount of time, I had the chance to go looking for the answer. I started by analyzing some of the highlights of Miss Minaj’s hits.

And here’s what I had to work with.

  • “They said I got five in a pasta bowl but don’t go against Nicki; impossible.”
  • “Your favorite rapper prolly suck. As for me? Icy; hockey puck.”
  • “Im chillin at the top, I got ample time. Bite me…Apple sign. Ha.”
  • “And the ad is global; your ad is local. When we shot it was a lot of different agricultures.”
  • “When I’m sitting with Anna, I’m really sitting with Anna. Ain’t a metaphor punchline, I’m really sitting with Anna.”
  • “Chimpanzees is hatin but I take it all in stride. Put her in a jungle with bananas on the side.”     
  • “You bad, but Nicki is badder. Step ya cookies up, go get you a ladder.”
  • “I’m startin’ to feel like a dungeon dragon. Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon.”

Step aside, Thoreau. We have a new poet in the house.


And so, then, my epiphany. In one flash of a moment, while swallowing the last spoonful of my vegetable soup, I realized how brilliant American Idol will become tonight. Why the producers are wizards of cable programming.  Why, unbeknownst to many if not all of us, Nicki Minaj is going to save this show like a wise healer.

Let me explain my logic. What is everyone’s favorite part of American Idol? Is it watching people achieve their dreams? Seeing ordinary singers become superstars? Discovering the new talent of the next generation?

Yeah, nice try. Admit it: you watch it to laugh at all the abysmal singers who trip over their own voices.

Not a crime! So do I, more or less. Okay, so I’m not really laughing at the bad singers—I at least respect them for pursuing an impossible goal, and I admit my own writing is probably just as horrid as the amateur attempts on this program—but let’s all agree: like it or not, half of the Idol entertainment stems from humiliation.

And so, my dear reader, I’ll end this blog post now. Why, indeed, is this singer a genius choice as judge?

Allow me to answer your question by asking you a question in turn:

What could be more humiliating to a prospective singer than being told ‘no’ by Nicki Minaj?

On Writing: My Writing Persona

 “I sometimes go to my own little world, but that’s okay, they know me there.”

 –  Joel Hodgson


Due to the fact that the internet is a large and, at times, rather terrifying place, I have—as you may have noticed—put very little information about myself on this blog. The most I’ve said is that I’m a guy in my senior year of high school, I’ve written several unpublished manuscripts, and I love the movie Super 8 (for which this blog is named).

And no, I’m not going to break that streak of silence tonight by divulging every personal detail. But I am going to tell you a bit about myself as a writer.

As I haven’t told you much about myself, I don’t know what you picture when (if) you think of the person behind this blog when they’re creating its content. Perhaps you imagine a teenager with six friends on Facebook, glasses worthy of Professor Trelawney, and a laptop on which he plays minesweeper for twenty hours of the day.

Or, maybe you picture a sketchy dude in sketchy clothes, sitting in the darkest corner of his basement, typing furiously on a laptop and staring at the WordPress stats pages waiting for views to trickle in.

In both cases you’re incorrect. Believe it or not, I do have a life outside of writing. The depth of that life is questionable, but it exists nonetheless.

Seriously. I don’t do this all the time.

But, I’m actually quite off topic. Today, I wanted to talk to you about my persona as a writer.

Regular me is pretty much average everything, with relatively few quirks other than an unhealthy obsession with the Harry Potter franchise and the need to suck the fun out of my class schedule by drowning it in AP courses.

But then, there’s my writing persona. Which is something that nobody is too familiar with, regardless of whether you know me personally or not.

Well, prepare to be enlightened.


The best way to describe my writing persona is to describe the person who sits down at my desk and punches out a chapter, article, blog post, revision…whatever happens to be on the agenda for the day. That person looks the same as me, but if you watch them, you’ll notice a few things.

First of all, they’re more than likely drinking a glass of Welch’s sparkling red grape juice. Nothing makes me feel fancier and more writer-esque than sitting down with a wine glass filled with non-alcoholic wine  as I work. If you’ve never tried this incredible drink, I’d highly recommend it…be sure to check it’s non-alcoholic, obviously. And make sure it’s red grape (white will do in a pinch; it tastes the same but is bright yellow rather than dark red). The taste is as implied…grape juice, but with enough fizz to make your eyes water.

Second of all, this writer is most likely listening to either a) Classical Music or b) Soundtrack.

Classical music relaxes me. I don’t listen to it for fun, or anytime except when I’m sitting down to write…but when I do, it makes me feel more intellectual. My personal favorites are Pachelbel Canon in D and the Bach Double Concerto in D Minor. Vivaldi works, too, which is my current eardrum entertainment.

As for soundtracks…

What can I say? I love movie scores. Especially when they relate to scenes I’m trying to write. For sad, emotional bits I go for “Dumbledore’s Farewell,” “Lily’s Theme” and “Harry and Hermione,” all from the last handful of Harry Potter films. Epic tracks include “The Sinking” from Titanic, “Phoenix Rises” from X-Men: The Last Stand and “Inferi in the Firestorm” from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

In addition, two especially emotional songs I’ve listened to more than a few times are “Davy Jones” from the second Pirates and “Arrival at Aslan’s How” from the incredible Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian score.

So that’s how I get myself focused, particularly when writing fiction.

Don’t get me wrong, though…I write regardless of my surroundings, and unless I can find a spare hour or two in the evening, I have to adapt. This means writing in places like a packed gymnasium, empty library, silent corner or cacophonous school bus. I’ve written battle scenes on my phone and death scenes at home while listening to “Gangnam Style.”

Those who do know me personally probably know well that I carry around a dark blue composition notebook, to school and anywhere else I go for more than an hour or two. Most people assume it’s one big story I’m writing, but in reality, it’s just a source of paper. I never have just one project (book, short story, blog post) on my “to do” list, so the pages of my writing journal are spattered with bits of all three. This is all just temporary for when I get home and have the chance to decipher my handwriting mess and type it out in its proper word document.

But, I’ll talk about writing by hand vs. typing later.

So, there you have it. You’ve been introduced to my more intellectual and expressive alter-ego who enjoys writing for fun. He thanks you for taking the time to read this.

If you wanted to follow his blog via email, I’m sure he would be very appreciative, too.

Fur-Ever-Alone (Music Video Analysis: “I Steal Pets”)

“Cause I steal pets from the popular people

And then dress the pets up like the popular people

I steal pets from the popular people

And hide them all in a shed!”

–  Rachel Bloom, “I Steal Pets”


There are people who, somewhere in the world at some point in time, designed the soap dispenser in my house so it shoots straight onto my newly dried shirt instead of downward into my hand.

They are terrible people.

What does that have to do with my post today? Well, nothing, except that it demonstrates how many different people see different creations as “good.”

Which is an excellent segue to a music video I want to discuss today.

This one hit the internet back in May 2011, just a few meager months after Rebecca Black’s “Friday.” It is indeed an official video; the song can be bought on iTunes if you have 99 cents to get rid of. Its name is “I Steal Pets,” sung by Rachel Bloom.

Now, relax, I’m not about to advocate for pet-stealing or anything…I don’t know how common of an issue this is, but I would fully recommend acquiring your own animal friends rather than borrowing other peoples’.

That being said, let’s analyze this piece of work.

It starts off promising enough…the singer, Rachel, is looking at the camera while an electric beat plays.

The initial lyrics aren’t anything alarming. She sings about how school is boring and she’ll be “hanging with her friends.” What’s more, it even rhymes! Stop the presses!

Rachel continues on how she’s going to have karaoke, pillow fights, and loud music playing with all of her friends (which, as she specifically points out, she has many).

Then…the decline.

Cause I steal pets from the popular people

And then dress the pets up like the popular people

I steal pets from the popular people

And hide them all in a shed!”


Well, at least that clears up the song’s title, right?

At this point in the song, I had several questions. Why would you steal pets, least of all from popular people? And KEEP them?

Initially, I thought it was in revenge. But no, in the next shot depicting her reading a magazine alongside a lizard, we realize the terrible truth she’s been insinuating: the reason she steals pets from popular people and dresses them up is so she can hang out with said pets.

Which, in case you were wondering, is a psychological illness known as Delusional Disorder.


After another verse and repeat of the refrain, she shouts, “Take it, Cuddles!” and a dog wearing sunglasses barks up a beat.

Finally the interlude ends, and she resumes singing. Now it’s a much more mellow, somber tone, and her eyes are creepily lined in red.

It’s the seventh grade dance in the shed tonight

And I’m the life of it all

Cats and dogs all movin’ with me

We’re having such a ball.”

Now it gets horrific.

I start slow dancing

With Greg Mandison’s Terrier mix.”

She picks up the dog in her arms and is moving back and forth, the animal’s head resting on her shoulders. The spotlight is on them.

He’s wearing a suit and he has Greg’s eyes

Suddenly…we kiss!”


This dog does indeed lick her on the lips, and she kisses back. It’s a full-on liplock between her and a flea-bitten animal.



Now she continues with the refrain while she and her ‘boyfriend’ are crowned Prom king and queen.


At this point, she’s pretty much done, but we do see one last clip of her reaching around her and pulling the pets in close.

She’s also mouthing all of them are mine repeatedly, staring at us with her eyes wide.

The only thing that saves this video is the fact that, as I learned soon after watching it, the song was intended to be bad on purpose.

The problem here isn’t the fact that this video was a joke. The problem is how readily we believed that it wasn’t.

Or maybe it was just me. Who knows? I still can’t even figure out who closes the doors of the bus when the driver gets off.


As always, much thanks for reading. And please rate below! I love feedback, bad and good.

And if you’re feeling REALLY generous, you could follow my blog via email with the little button under the archives. I won’t steal your pets, I promise.

Gangnam Style!

“Oppa Gangnam style.”


“Oh, so close,” you might have been thinking to yourself (if you’re as OCD as I am) when you read my last post. “This blog’s magic number is 8, but it was launched on September NINTH? Five points from Gryffindor.”

Believe me, I understand. It’s quite possible that in seventy years this will still be hobbling along and my writing life with it, and just before they both slip away I’ll look to the sky and shout, “IT LAUNCHED ON THE NINTH!”


Probably not.

Besides, I had a good reason: I wasn’t ready on the 8th. I still hadn’t written the intro post, I was tired, and the music on the TV Guide channel was more interesting than usual. I have to prioritize.

But, anyway. Before I start talking nonstop about writing—which, I promise I will—I figured I’d throw down a post or two about things most people can relate to. In this case, a music video that you most likely haven’t heard about, but is probably going to go (more) viral in the next few days.

I’m not normally one for music videos. I take enjoyment from listening to a song, and—with a few rare exceptions—think that the audio is more than adequate. Well, my friends, I’ve found myself a rare exception.

I don’t know if I’m allowed to post the link here, so I won’t, but the song is called “Gangnam Style” by the Korean Rapper PSY. It’s currently one of the most viewed YouTube videos of all time (with 146,082,566 views as of now), which is why I was so surprised I hadn’t heard of it until today. Watch it if you’d like, but I figured I would go ahead and give you the breakdown. This one deserves dissection.

The video begins with the lead singer, PSY, singing in Korean and strolling down what appears to be a horse farm. The video flashes between that and him sitting on a playground, where a kid wearing sunglasses is dancing as though it’s the end of the world. He’s pretty good, too.

Then enters the catchy beat, which I challenge you to dislodge from your brain in less than two hours. PSY continues singing in Korean, walks through an artificial snowstorm, and dances in random places including on top of a building, in a city bus, and under a highway overpass.

THEN, the hook: it cuts to PSY and around ten other dancers all executing the strangest sequence of moves I’ve ever seen (and that includes my own). I can’t really put it into words…picture holding one arm rigid in front of you, jumping up and down, and waving your free hand as though swinging a lasso. This man manages to do all of this—all while inside a horse farm, mind you, complete with a line of horses in the background—and still I’m entertained. How could you not be?

Keep in mind this is, according to the description, from PSY’s SIXTH studio album. Where has this man been before? With a beat like the one this song has, he’s destined to be a star…at least, for a little while. Though I don’t know the translation of the refrain (the epigraph at the top of this post), I do know that Gangnam is a place in South Korea. I’d be shocked if this wasn’t their new theme song.

Other highlights of the video include: him doing the move mentioned above, except this time down the street chasing two people who are backing away hastily (I would, too, if he were running towards me in such a manner). In addition, he throws down some more dancing on the seats of the city bus, which is adorned with a disco ball and sunglasses-clad passengers.

The hook repeats, with scenes flashing between another bus, a swimming pool, a boat, an elevator, what looks like the lobby of an emergency room, and finally a massive dance floor where PSY and his whole crew of backup dancers can finish off the insanely catchy tune in style.

Now, I know the music video sounds strange. Even, dare I say it, silly. But here’s the thing…


And when it comes to music, that’s all that really matters, right? The tune is the South Korean equivalent of “Party Rock Anthem,” and the dancing is interesting enough to keep me hitting the replay button.

Just my take, anyway.


On an unrelated note:

I can’t express how grateful I am to the handful of people reading this. I’d love to tell you, “Don’t worry, followers. One day, I’ll be rich and famous and I’ll have enough money to buy an island so I don’t have to pay taxes. And it’ll be because of YOU.”

Okay, that probably won’t happen. Like most people, all I can really do is say thanks. And for now, that’s more than enough.

So thank you.