And You Thought It Couldn’t Get Worse (Movie Review: The Sea of Monsters)

“I was brought in after they already had a draft of the script which, quite frankly, didn’t work. With the draft that was originally done, the only thing wrong with it was that it was TOO faithful to the book. So first and foremost, I had to think of a wholly different way of adapting the novel. ”

–  Screenwriter Marc Guggenheim

 

somposterDo you love terrible film adaptions? Then we have the perfect movie for you! The second installment in the Percy Jackson film series will not only lower your opinion of Hollywood’s ability to adapt novels, it’ll squash all hope you had left for the PJ film franchise as a whole!

But wait, there’s more!

This movie goes beyond traditional butchering of source material. What makes it really shine as an abysmal adaption is that it moves on to the other novels in the Percy Jackson book series, picking pieces from the rest of them so as to butcher their content as well.

Doesn’t it sound great?

I don’t mean to sound scathing here, but honestly, this movie sort of deserves it. However, in the interest of fairness, I’ll attempt an objective review of it as a whole.

So, we have the adaption of the second book in the Percy Jackson series, meant to be a sequel to the 2010 adaption, The Lighting Thief. In this, Camp Half-Blood is attacked, and Percy and his friends must set out to find the Golden Fleece, the only thing that can save their camp from…uh, more attack.

Also, Luke is trying to resurrect Kronos, who was never mentioned up until this point in the entire film series. Nor is it ever explained who Kronos actually is. But hey, no biggie.

I’ll start off by listing what I liked. There were exactly two parts of the movie I thoroughly enjoyed.

The first was the opening scene, which features Luke, Annabeth, Grover and Thalia running for Camp Half-Blood when they were kids. Unfortunately, this scene only lasts around a minute, but it was arguably the best minute of the film.

The second was when the trio meets Luke for the first time in the movie. I think Jake Abel, who portrays our favorite villain, really brings him to life and does the best he can with the lines he’s given. His speech to Annabeth, ending with “you disappoint me the most,” was solid.

However, the negatives aren’t to be ignored here.

Let’s see…here are a few good ones: Percy goes to Camp Half-Blood without any attacks; he doesn’t meet Tyson until he gets there and Chiron introduces them; Grover isn’t kidnapped by Polyphemus; Clarisse is included but not in any key part of the plot (she also looks around twenty-three); we still never see Ares; they never go to Circe’s island; and one of the worst, Annabeth and Percy don’t have any of the meaningful one-on-one conversations they have in the book.

Actually, they really don’t have any one-on-one conversations at all, actually. Wait, do they still like each other?

It takes about forty minutes for our friends to set out for the Sea of Monsters. They literally sail for probably twenty-five minutes, and they’re at the Cyclops’s lair. They escape with Grover and the Fleece…

Which Luke immediately takes and uses to resurrect Kronos.

No, I’m being serious. The coffin opens, and Kronos is reformed. Not in the way he is in, you know, the books, but rather as a giant monster-type thing who dies around two minutes later.

Kronos1111

Man, Hollywood, really scraping the bottom of the barrel, aren’t we?

Overall, this movie amused me, because I was sure going in that nothing could be worse than the adaption of The Lightning Thief, which I blogged about earlier. But sure enough, when the movie was over, I could say with total sincerity that they actually did a worse job with this one. For starters, none of the Olympians apart from Dionysus (who virtually has no role) appear. No Zeus, Hades or even Poseidon. I suppose that’s why the removed the word “Olympians” from the franchise title.

Come to think of it, did they keep anything from the first movie, other than the cast members?

chrn

Oh. Never mind.

Hey, at least Annabeth was blond, right?

In conclusion: pretty much everything in this movie is discount except for the CGI. The acting is unimpressive, the dialogue is discountable, and the plot is virtually nonexistent. Good job, team! Can’t wait for part three!

Rate: 2 out of 10.

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6 thoughts on “And You Thought It Couldn’t Get Worse (Movie Review: The Sea of Monsters)

  1. Ugh. Thanks for the warning. Not that I had high hopes for this one or anything, but Sea of Monsters is arguably one of my favorite books from the whole Percy Jackson series, so I was vaguely considering watching the movie. Now I think I’ll pass, or if I do see it, it will be with sufficiently low expectations.. Kronos actually reforms? And then dies?? Doesn’t that destroy any attempt at making the rest of the books into movies? Why would Hollywood shoot themselves in the foot like that?

    • Yeah, this one was pretty irritating. It might be worth seeing if you really lower your expectations. Kronos does re-form, and Percy kills him within a few minutes. I’m not sure why they included that in this one, but then again, they also included the Manticore from book three, so I think they were just kind of mashing everything together. It didn’t make any sense to me! It’s a shame, because the Percy Jackson novels are my favorite book series, and I think they could have great adaptions.

  2. Oh bother! The professor thought this a well put review! Thanks for sharing it.

  3. Paul Prater says:

    I actually though the movie was nice, but like you said, If you lower your expectations. I agree though, they should have kept the cast the same. A lot of movies do that, they change the cast, which is anoying.

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