Apocalypse!

“Don’t worry about the world ending. If the Mayans were so good at predicting the future, there would still be Mayans.”

 

What on Earth are you doing here? The world’s about to end, and of all places, you decide to spend your last moments paroozing through my blog?

I must admit, this whole end-of-the-world business is at least throwing a mildly entertaining wrench in the machine of school life as well as social media. What I find the most interesting is that a few years ago, people were genuinely concerned for the coming end of days. And now that it’s here, it’s suddenly everyone’s shared inside joke. I’m reminded of the dog from the movie Up…“Apocalypse!”

My personal celebration of the end of the world, so far, hasn’t been especially exciting. In fact, last night mostly consisted of me studying for an AP Psychology test and watching the first episode of The Walking Dead (not even because I’m trying to be ironic, either…the DVD just happened to come into the library yesterday).

But, I’m not letting a thing like the end of humanity go unattended by my mind. Today, one of my friends is hosting an Apocalypse Party, in which we’ll probably listen to songs such as “2012 (It Ain’t the End)” by Jay Sean and “4 Minutes” by Madonna. I came up with the event’s tagline: “It’s our party and we’ll die when we want to.”

We’ll also be watching the movie 2012, because who doesn’t want to be seeing that film at the moment it becomes utterly ridiculous?

(Not that it isn’t on its way there already. The whole ‘driving a limo out a three-story window’ bit was already awarded some significant eye-rolls on my part).

Let’s talk about that movie for a second. No, I’m not going to do a review of it on the day of the supposed end of all life. Instead, I’ll just tell you some random facts you might not have known about it:

  • North Korea banned the film, as 2012 is the 100th anniversary of the birth of Kim Il-sung, the nation’s founder, and thus they disapproved of a film that “reflected unfavorably” on that particular year.
  • Due to the movie’s success, there was (and still is) talk of launching a spin-off TV series called “2013.” A little slow on the production there, fellas.
  • It is the only movie I know of that will go from being an action to a comedy in a single day.

I’m reminded of a similar phenomenon back in 2011 involving Harold Camping, a man so good at predicting the end of the world that he’s done it three times now. After one failed attempt, he told us that the world would end back in September 1994. When it didn’t, and after spending millions of dollars promoting the judgement day, he admitted he had made a simple “mathematical error.”

Oops.

But then, after that, he immediately began targeting May 21, 2011 as the new end of the world date. He wrote pamphlets on it, made radio broadcasts…and starting October 2010, he and his followers began driving across the country with signs indicating that the end was near.

 

Well, I was on a campout on May 21, 2011. I had just finished a ten-mile hike and was completely exhausted by six p.m. The world didn’t end then, which was good, because that wasn’t at all the way I wanted to go out.

Harold later admitted that he made—and I quote—“A little bit of a mistake.” Which is interesting, since that’s probably the same phrase I would use to describe leaving my iPod on until the battery runs out.

But anyway. My point in all this is that there will always be predictions about the end of days, and we’ll never really know for sure when it actually is. There will always be those awkward moments after a failed prediction, when you get the chance to yell at the people who were genuinely concerned: “Oh, you sold your house to buy a bomb shelter? Good move! Enjoy your eight hundred cans of corn!”

So just celebrate how you want without doing anything stupid. And if that means dressing up as a Mayan and walking down the street yelling warnings at random people…well, I considered it.

As for me, though, I’ll be using the phrase “it’s not the end of the world” as many times as I can in context. But let’s hope I don’t jinx anything.

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