(Some Of) The Most Ridiculous Things I’ve Seen on the Internet

“The underlying problem with information found on the internet is that it is difficult to verify its authenticity.”

 –  Abraham Lincoln

 

“Local singles in my area are INTERESTED in me? It must be because of all the free iPads I’ve won!”

Okay. The primary reason I wanted to blog about this tonight—other than the fact that you’re probably getting sick of all my reviews—is because the internet has some strange things floating around on it. I just wanted to share the few I’ve come across recently, purely for your enjoyment.

So enjoy.

 

Yahoo! Answers:

Ah, this little fun site. We’ve all seen some horrifically ignorant questions thrown out here. My personal favorite, logged under the “automotive repair” section of the site, reads as follows:

(Property of Yahoo Answers. Seriously, I claim no credit for this. I promise.)

After quelling my fits of considerable laughter, I took a gander at the top responses. And oh, they did not disappoint. The top few were comments such as:

  • Pour water on the keys…it worked for me!!
  • Well, maybe we would give you a straight answer if you stopped yelling, geez 
  • THIS HAPPENED TO ME LAST YEAR IT IS FOREVER IRREVERSIBLE!!!!

 

And that, kids, is why books are the best resource.

 

Facebook:

I addressed the topic of Facebook a few weeks ago, mentioning some of the insanely strange pages I’ve encountered on there. Which reminds me, I would like to add one more to the list:

Its profile picture depicts two fingers next to each other, crossed. The one behind has a robber mask drawn on it, along with a knife in its “hand.” The other finger has a terrified look drawn on his face.

The name of the page?

“Click on LIKE or the finger DIES.”

Additionally, while we’re on the subject…there are quite a few Facebookers across the web who recently have  updated with statuses such as: “Like if you brush your teeth!” “Like if you enjoy breathing!” “Like if you enjoy Oreos…ignore if you want to be cast into the fiery depths of Satan’s lair for the rest of eternity while people who enjoy Oreos pelt you with sharp stones!”

To those Facebookers…

Please stop.

 

Amazon:

The “Fifty Shades of Gray” trilogy was listed under the bestselling books…

In the “education” section.

Need I say more?

 

News Stories:

As I’ve paroozed various article sites for school projects, I’ve come across some strange, strange news clips that actually happened. Here are the most interesting headlines I’ve seen.

  • Man Buys Gift For His Wife Who Attacked Him With a Kitchen Blade (the gift was a hot pink revolver)
  • Man arrested, charged with arson on his own house
  • Armless Woman Refused Service At McDonald’s (Apparently a woman was driving through the McDonald’s drive-thru using her feet, pulled up to the window, and upon asking for her food was told—and I quote—“Girl, you ain’t got no arms.”)

 

Google:

Oh, Google…it’s probably the most used site in the world, and yet it still has flub-ups such as a recent incident in which someone spotted a body on the “Google Maps” street view. Yes, a body, as in a human corpse. (Luckily, this was later discovered to merely be a girl who happened to be lying in the street when the cameras snapped the image).

This is exactly why the internet is only as good as the people who run it. For all of our technology, we can only trust it as much as those who operate it.

Speaking of which…has everyone heard of those Google glasses?

If you haven’t, they’re essentially Iron Man’s mask compacted down into transparent glasses. Google is with you all the time, so you can voice commands for it to perform to give you information on the spot.

As several people on the internet have already suggested, every time I see someone with Google Glasses, I’m going to run up to them and yell: “Google Glasses, image search diarrhea. Safe search…off! Open first fifty results in new tabs!”

Then I’ll run.

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