Getting Ready for School Dances: Guys vs. Girls

“It’s not a stereotype if it’s always true”

 –  Daniel Tosh


The last thing I want is for anyone to misunderstand me…first of all, I don’t see the comedian Daniel Tosh as any deep prophet with words of wisdom. His quote just happened to fit the subject of today’s brief entry.

I understand I’ve been posting a lot lately, and this will be the second to last one for a few days. But I just wanted to put up a quick list I came up with sophomore year, detailing the preparatory routines for guys and girls when it comes to school dances. It seemed only fitting, as my school’s Homecoming dance is tonight. I’m sorry if I sound naïve, or if I generalize too much. I’m sure not all girls and guys are like this.

What Girls Do to Get Ready For Dances:
1. Buy a dress  three years before several weeks prior to the dance. 
2. Buy 20-inch heels that look like torture devices one year before  several weeks prior to the dance
3. Take a shower ten hours prior to the dance
4. Do their hair eight hours prior to the dance
5. Undo what they just did and re-do their hair
6. Repeat steps 4 and 5 for several hours
7. Do their nails and let them dry
8. Put on that special eye goop with that tong-like surgical instrument
9. Smear that special eye goop with all the cotton swabs in the entire house
10. Take half an hour putting on slip-on shoes that you’re going to take off an throw in the corner when you get there
11. Go downstairs and pose for “paparazzi”
12. Post 500 pictures on Facebook
13. Leave for the dance

What Guys Do to Get Ready For Dances:

1. Buy a shirt several days before

2. Maybe iron it. Maybe.

3. Shower, then put on shirt, pants, tie…take your time, sir.

4. Take a nice picture or two

5. Leave


So yes, I understand it’s more complicated for guys if they have a date, but you get the gist of what I’m saying. This is the core of it.

That’s all for now. Time to get ready for my last high school Homecoming dance.